Today is your birthday and I am not there to share the joys of growing up with you. Will I be there to witness your victories and your failures? I don't know but don't hold it against me. This choice was mine and i made it knowing that we would lead separate lives, if only for a while. But sometimes I wish I didn't do this- being away when you are still here, being indifferent when you still care, being maudlin when you are so matter-of-fact, being out-of-sync when you are in the moment. For in being who I am I realise what you have been and will always be- a source of infinite joy and comfort for me.