Part of me wants to play it safe and part of me wants to break out. It these two opposing tendencies that i contend with on a daily basis. There is no doubt that i will be happy having all the creature comforts of life and a steady income that allows me to pay the bills and entertain. But that life does not completely satisfy my urge not be confined with any boundaries. Increasingly, i feel the need to live in a commune, may be of my own making where i could create life naturally as it should be. I am no idealist when i say i want to grow my own food, generate my own electricity, build my own house. I want to able to do that on my own terms. I think urban life is sedative, drugs you into acquiescence. I'm cool with it is not a lifestyle i see for myself.  I like the struggle of being able to push yourself beyond what is given. For the most part i hold back. But if i once given in, there will be no looking back. I will do it and i want to be in a position do it. Not be accountable to anyone for my decision to do it. Lest the clock is clicking and time slips slowly by. The day will come when i will not be blogging but writing letters in the sand.