It's Holi and I'm here in my little hovel trying to be happy. Sometimes, happiness is never a choice you give yourself. For the most part, it's easier not being happy. You can always count on the world to bring you down but to count on yourself to never let you down is hard.  The unhappiness of just being is what happiness is not. So to be what my natural disposition demands me to be is what I am striving to seek. Fight not being happy just to be happy. How hard could that be? The joker smiles at me. Only he knows the answer:)