office politics

power play at work has to be the most exasperating and frustrating aspects of my job...i HATE it!!!...i had a miserable day at work...accusations of poorly managed work was raised...i am at my wit's end...i'm bad with dealing with persons who have ulteria motives and who want to undermine your work...i do not understand them and i am not diplomatic...if i am not comfortable with particular individuals, it simply shows!...i know they sense my discomfiture and dislike for blame-game...worst of all i can't get it out of my stupid head...

i have a team of 10 members...they are of different ages, temperaments and capabilities...team work is a hard-hard exercise...explaining to them that certain styles of working is not acceptable is sacrilege...im walking on a tight-rope...saving my big ass and keeping staff happy and motivated is driving me crazy...i really need to learn how to manage people...the success of any organisation rests upon it...god help me!!!

CHOICE

...a heavily laden word dense with meaning...modern thinking seems to be preoccupied with it...grand existentialist philosophies have been centered upon it...and i'm still struggling to figure out its role in my life...

Choice has the ability to make 'you' feel self-important, that 'you' matter...but once you peel its many layers...it seems contrived and hollow...it is no longer an enabling self-exercise....

How a word has the power to make-believe!...

"firsts"

First time experiences are always special...you suprise and amaze yourself in ways you never thought you could...it is an act of self-discovery...and i love it!...
Here are some of the "firsts" of my trip to thailand and bali:
1. bought my first international ticket (feel proud about it)
2. strut around in a bikini (for a person who is body conscious, this is liberating...)

3. eaten calamari, oysters, clams and other sea monsters (yummy!)
4. tried rock climbing (this has to fucking be the most intense human sport...it my pursuit to push myself to the limit, i was bed ridden for 1 whole day as my body temperature shot up to 104 F ...)

5. conquered a dormant volcanoe after a bum-cracking, back-breaking and jaw-dropping 4 hour hike starting at 3 am in the morning.

6. eaten the feel-good DUNKIN DOUGHNUTS.
7. boogey boarding and riding waves like a wannabe pro (FUN FUN FUN)

8. eaten a feast of traditional suckling pig (delicious!!!)

9. moved around a big city alone like a fakir (not advisable)

10. snorkelled at a japanese WWII shipwreck (priceless...the underwater universe is spellbinding...all u have to do is put you head down in the water and drift...)

11. watched a traditional Balinese dance (captivating & beautiful)

12. a full body massage at the garden of your private villa (blissful & relaxing)

13. seen a gorgeous sunrise at a World Heritage Sight (Borabudur)

14. watched a movie in I-MAX (Dark Knight...fuck Heath Ledger...shitting in my pants!)

the list is getting long and elaborate...feeling tired...will continue later...

BALI BLUES

If there is ever a journey that defines your life, it has to be my holiday to Bali...never in my life have i experienced so much natural beauty, human aesthetics and divine providence at one go...it is truly the "island of gods"...i have been blessed to see, feel, taste and dream a life that seemed so surreal...many unforgettable emotions and thoughts, many more memories never to be lost...

thank you priya, priti,elaine, charmaine, melissa, dhiraj...

a new beginning

i am a self-conscious person...writing makes me feel very naked and bare...most of my engagement with writing has been restricted to serious academic work...i have never really opened up to the idea of writing my thoughts down...writing seems to give a finality to a state of mind...words seem to limit the fluid streams of consiousness...hopefully this blog will capture the blur of words that make up our life...

thank you pinoo