i could cry

Put your trust in me

I'm not gonna die alone

Put your trust in me

I'm not gonna die alone

I don't think so

As i type this, AnoB is on the train to Calcutta with her life in Delhi bundled up in little boxes to carry home with her. She will have no idea that i'm writing this and that i will miss the comfort of her company, her infectious laughter and her reassuring presence. That we might not live together was known but that she would eventually leave this city was not. I avoided this thought till it struck me like lightening this morning. All the people i love are far away from me, making it awfully hard to cope with.  I know that while we will all grow and branch out separately, our roots shall remain deep and unshakeable. This is the faith i have come to rely on from good friends, past and present. AnoB i hope you feel it too.

the beginner's playlist: indie electro love

Desire- Don't Call

Kavinsky- Nightcall

Chromatics- Back From the Grave

Grimes-Oblivion

College- A Real Hero

Charli XCX- Nuclear Seasons

Hot Chip-Flutes

Au Revoir Simone- Shadows

War Paint- Undertow

thought control

I read Kafka's parable 'Before the Law' (http://records.viu.ca/~johnstoi/kafka/beforethelaw.htm) last night before i slept and i was terribly unsettled by the tale. This small piece of writing evokes so many emotions of frustration, absurdity, helplessness that it is an altogether mindfucking read. I mean what a fucken existence is this? Strangely, i have no answer and this is making me slightly angsty right now. But making peace, sometimes, involves accepting a body of lies as life's truth. 

hello monday

Period crrrrramps ensured that i had a sleepless night. Besides constantly tossing and turning on the bed, i went to the toilet at least six times to relieve myself. Finally, i collapsed in the wee hours of the morning after forcing myself to vomit. The heat and dust woke me up and i find myself in an uneasy state; my stomach's woozy, my eyes strained, my lips dry and my body drained. An inglorious beginning to the working week. oooffffffffffff!

photo-op

Shantiniketan Express; en route to Calcutta; circa April 2012

start me up

I feel A L I V E after listening to this song.

Life overwhelms; it is all a rush against time, of defying fate and destiny. There is so much to be said, to be done, to be felt, to be responsible for, to be lived, to be loved, to be thought over...Just thinking about it makes me dizzy, like a top spinning out of control. It's all so confusing when it gets lost in a web of existence.  In this mad frenzy, the circles get rounder and loopier, wider and faster, till it all stops in a moment of stasis. I want to freed of this inexorable march of the mind, to let it rest in peace, to give it solace in silence. But it rages on like a lone solider in the battlefields of time.

chillout

http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/If+You+Please/3Ghh8N?src=5

Chinese Man are a French tri-hop band whose style of music is funky, groovy and altogether unmistakable. They make for ideal listening on these hot summer nights when sleep eludes me and midnight dancing beckons.

In money's clout, how do i salvage my soul without being strangled with doubt? I doubt, i doubt...

Happy May Day

Like our arm-chair and pacified activists, i am quietly rebelling against today being a working labour day by blogging. What the F***!