Life-oh-Life

Going home tomorrow; but to a home without Minto.

a month since you have been gone

I can't write about Minto, without not feeling a groundswell of emotion rising within me. I don't know what to say. His death marks the loss of an irretrievable part of ourselves; experienced everyday, in the mundane nitty-gritty of our daily life. What he means to our family is a pure indescribable love that i don't think we have found in ourselves or in the relationships we have kept or continue to keep. He remains the soul of family that will never die; at least i can live with the hope that it won't. And when he ceases to be, i know that our time to perish has come.

rant

Truth be lies; lies feed life; life sucking existence; existence crushing man, man fighting time; time stuck in space; space emitting light; light ending darkness; darkness casting a void; void flowing endless; endless streaming emotions; emotions killing being; being dying always; always forever lost

fuck you

You have your truth and i have mine; squaring our existence in parallel lines?
You have your truth and i have mine; playing ping-pong with the human mind?
You have your truth and i have mine; always seeking the perfect alibi?
If this is truth, then so be mine; surviving each other wrecked in time.

On Skype, P and S were discussing about the hipster overload that dominates some quarters of our youth culture. I agree that 'coolness' has become the fashionable totem of our times. The dominant culture of today's youth is borrowed; the reference points are rarely local, and when they are, it is a hijacking of subaltern cultures for elite past-times. Fundamentally, it seems from the tenuous nature of our interaction with modernity itself. Somewhere there is a fundamental disconnect with the Indian reality and the hyper-reality of the imported consumerist cultures of the West. A creeping social tension that is played out in friendships, relationships, work-time, play-time. It affects our outward social self and inner being, in ways we do not fully comprehend. It's not psychobabble but in the dynamics of our banal social reality. Fundamentally, we are losing touch with our authentic selves, creating an identity that needs constant approbation in order to be socially relevant. To be judged or to judge lurks in our everyday interactions, creating inherent insecurity in our minds. Coolness is the symptom, uncoolness the crime.

sour times

After reading The Fall, i am feeling at a loss of words. The themes of loss of human innocence, judgement, vacuity of emotions, dominance of self-interest is disconcerting. Nothing is scared, not even life. Everything stands debased to the vigour of being judged. Than what is it that we are left with? Morsels
of truth to be gnawed and then rejected. It's all too nihilist, too hollow. May be there is no meaning to life after all, except the void we inhabit. Sucked in, we live in darkness, groping our way out. So let's just turn off the light.

Perfect music accompaniment: